Proposed?

Several days ago, my father offered a girl to me whether i could accept her as a close friend or so
I denied it. Hell i'm not even thinking that far yet. Let me just make up myself for it. I can choose things by myself and that is include my life and further life plans.
Let me just do the things by my own and learn through life.

I don't mean to be rude, but for now, i'm ok by my own. I never had any girlfriend for 21 years already, well one say that it's a record. But still, i'm just fine. I can entertain myself and keep going. So, please, don't treat me as if i'm not knowing how to choose my match.
I have my own standards

Kinda stressed with the result

I wish it could be better......
*sigh* I've depressed enough knowing that i failed in Clinical Lesson, and when i saw the result, one more subject still failed, it's Pharmacy

Damnit, why? I guess i haven't tried my best. I don't want another thing lies a siege on my head next time i face subject in the Remedial Season. Please.... no.....
I need to be concentrated. I don't want more stressing situation. This Academic stuff already put my psychologic condition into a good corner, so please, no more situation or occurance that made me more stressed.
I just want to concentrate...... please..... I've had enough......

I'm very stressed tonight that i even thought that i should just commit suicide by falling from the rooftop of my campus's building. Ya Allah, please, don't let me deny my fate and make me ran away from my destiny.
If this were to be my fate, i'll accept it, but please, i beg you, don't push me too much. I have limit since i'm just a humble creature of you......