Nani... kono iya na kimochi wa.....

I feel like something is bothering me nowadays
The year of 2009 has entered its 2nd month, and i don't know what happened to me lately. As if i was being hurt, so deeply, and so lonely. I don't know what's wrong with me
I don't want this kind of feeling keep disturbing me everyday and everynight. Feel like i just wanna let go of it by playing something and forgetting daily stuffs.
I know that i'm in chronic stress due to exam. I guess i need some good refreshment. But what, how, and why does this feeling keep haunting me? I really don't know
I don't know what to do..........

Doushite.... konna koto ni.....

Why? Why does everything is going worse for me?
Since the day i lost my ability to upload, i keep getting bad luck.
And now, even some of my dear friends in real life are in an affair. We supposed to be get along together even some of us have their girlfriends. But how, and how could this thing happen? 2 of them are in affair just because of a girl, and the other one is somewhat avoiding me, and sticks with his girlfriend
I NEVER have any girlfriend in real life, in my 20 years of life. I'm NOT jealous of them who already have one. It's just, WHY DO FRIENDSHIP HAVE TO BE BROKEN JUST BECAUSE OF GIRLS?
That was also said by one of my friend.
If i were supposed to be alone again just like when i enter college, let it be, i'm just a geek anyway