Still alone in a lonely night

I dunno what to say now
I feel like i've completely has no power to keep on
I've lost my ability as an uploader in a forum where i'm active at. It's such a pain since that's the only work i can keep up. Since i merely spam there, so i think i should repay them by posting some uploads, but now, since i lost my ability to upload items, i'm just a simple spammer, and a troublemaker with my hentai.
I feel like i don't deserve to be there again, i feel like i should leave that place, and let them be and safe without my spam. SInce my spam is only trouble